My love/hate relationship with living alone

It's been one year and four months of living alone, from serving myself a glass of wine on bad days to happily dancing my heart out on good days, I have had my days. A few years back I was living with my family, moved to a college two years later and then moved to another city for a job. In all these phases, I had a group of best loving people around me. My day used to kick off with my best friend waking me up forcefully in the morning to ending up with complaints of the boss over a slice of pizza and drink.

My younger self would never have managed without the most amazing people around me, but my older self has started falling in love with the new phase of solitude.

First few months are never easy

Even though the idea of my own personal space was very thrilling, but it went away after two months. Remember when you come home and there is your friend sitting at the couch and you rant about “You know what happened today..”, well that hits hard. There is no match of comfort in hugging your best friend after a rough day. But oh boy! You can always pick your favourite music, get naked and wiggle in the house 😉 That helps too!!!!

Confusing, uncomfortable but peaceful

Living alone could be confusing on so many levels because spending time with yourself also means overthinking, anxiousness and feeling lonely. It’s the same feeling you encounter with on first days of meditation, your mind goes into the direction you don’t want to. It is a real struggle to keep the mind at peace. On days like those, we could do nothing but sit in a corner and listen to the music that reminds of old-times :) But nothing teaches you emotional intelligence, the one you learn by being vulnerable with yourself or by eating buckets of ice cream 🍨

You get to be yourself

My place is the only place I find peace at, amidst the chaotic world. After 1 hour in the road, 8 hours in dealing with meetings, work, there is no place I would rather be than my own small little corner. I have decorated a small corner in my room and wonder how an area of 15 meter square could become your happy place. I do my readings, writings, listening to music, sitting at that one happy spot of mine…