It's been one year and four months of living alone, from serving myself a glass of wine on bad days to happily dancing my heart out on good days, I have had my days. A few years back I was living with my family, moved to a college two years later and then moved to another city for a job. In all these phases, I had a group of best loving people around me. My day used to kick off with my best friend waking me up forcefully in the morning to ending up with complaints of the boss over a slice of pizza and drink.
My younger self would never have managed without the most amazing people around me, but my older self has started falling in love with the new phase of solitude.
First few months are never easy
Even though the idea of my own personal space was very thrilling, but it went away after two months. Remember when you come home and there is your friend sitting at the couch and you rant about “You know what happened today..”, well that hits hard. There is no match of comfort in hugging your best friend after a rough day. But oh boy! You can always pick your favourite music, get naked and wiggle in the house 😉 That helps too!!!!
Confusing, uncomfortable but peaceful
Living alone could be confusing on so many levels because spending time with yourself also means overthinking, anxiousness and feeling lonely. It’s the same feeling you encounter with on first days of meditation, your mind goes into the direction you don’t want to. It is a real struggle to keep the mind at peace. On days like those, we could do nothing but sit in a corner and listen to the music that reminds of old-times :) But nothing teaches you emotional intelligence, the one you learn by being vulnerable with yourself or by eating buckets of ice cream 🍨
You get to be yourself
My place is the only place I find peace at, amidst the chaotic world. After 1 hour in the road, 8 hours in dealing with meetings, work, there is no place I would rather be than my own small little corner. I have decorated a small corner in my room and wonder how an area of 15 meter square could become your happy place. I do my readings, writings, listening to music, sitting at that one happy spot of mine. Just like Sheldon Cooper’s favourite spot, my small corner is my favourite spot :)
I Got to know me more
Trust me when I say everyone needs “me-time” in their regular days. We live in a world where we spend 80% of our day in pleasing others. There is a huge difference in being alone and lonely, and living alone teaches you to perceive best out of your alone days. When you bring different emotions at home and you don’t have anyone to burst out your frustration upon, eventually you get the hang of understanding those emotions and beautifully dealing with them.
Cancelled plans with no guilt
This one is a favourite, not because I am an aloof person but because sometimes I don’t want to deal with humans. I get to choose the days I want to socialise with people and days on which I would rather prefer my own company. Yes, I have cancelled the plans to just snuggle up whole freaking day!!!!:
Living a disciplined life is hard
They say to do the right things when no one is watching you, it's called integrity. Living by yourself sometimes also means ignoring cleanliness, your food habits, procrastination and collecting mess on THE CHAIR. 😝 When no one is responsible for reminding you of small house chores, you have to take the responsibility of your lazy attitude towards daily house chores. Some days my room is a mess until I really get fed up looking at the mess, but there is also a pleasure in doing things at my time without anyone nagging at it.
You outgrow yourself
I have learnt so much that I couldn't have ever done while living with someone. I have grown out of doing small little things which I never thought are navigating my way through self retrospection. From sitting with a cup of coffee in balcony with my confusing emotions to sitting silently with a happy state of mind, I have made time for important things in my life. I learned to utilise my time to learn something new every single day. I learned to convert my boredom into reading the book that was in my to-do list for years. I have learned to look forward to something new every single day and set a vision for myself.
Even though the imagination of having a place by yourself brings excitement but it also takes a small part of your social life. Solitude can help you achieve greatest things, but it also forces you to dive into your comfort place. Living by yourself sometimes becomes more like a cocoon you don’t want to get out from. A social life balance is an important aspect of being human, therefore always challenge yourself to meet new people, engage in extra activities and meanwhile maintaining your personal space.